Oh the things you suddenly become open minded to when it comes to fertility. On the recommendation of several other women on the TTC roller coaster, and my lovely therapist, I decided that spending an hour or so with dozens of little needles stuck in me sounded like JUST THE THING I needed. Turns out when Googling "Acupuncture" in El Paso, you only get two results, so at least I wasn't overwhelmed with choices. I picked the one that had the prettier website (really, cause that's how I roll), and emailed for an appointment.
A few hours later I got a phone call from the calmest woman on the planet. NO. REALLY. She had a soft spoken, slowish speech, and sounded happy. Over the phone. It was one of those moments that make you stop for a second and realize this is a "moment". She worked me in to accommodate my insemination schedule, and I set about looking forward to our appointment two days later.
Her office was about 30 minutes away from my house, and I relished the time to gather myself beforehand. The building was AWESOME. It's an old house in the historical district, and the second I walked in I felt a difference. Im not crazy, (ok...I am crazy, but not about this). It was so cute on the inside. Calm and clean, but bright, warm and inviting, and just the coolest old house anyway with crown molding and a stone fireplace. The energy in that building was perfect, and I felt calm and ready right away.
She had the brightest smile ever, and filled the room right when she walked in. She wore the exact same green scrubs that we wear at our clinic every day, short hair, glasses, and no jewelry. (Important detail to follow-->) She had the best handshake. Strong and firm and determined. This detail really stuck with me after the fact. We filled out some paperwork, looked over the labs that I brought, and then headed back into one of the treatment rooms. I think I kept saying "This is the greatest house", "I love this building", "this is such a great place"! She did a full round of medical questions, fertility questions, looked at my tongue, took my pulse, and up on the table I went. I was face up with my legs up on a block, and still felt abnormally calm. (Aside: I am never, ever, ever calm)
She talked softly, and a slightly slower than a normal conversation, and continued to ask me questions about my inseminations, plans, sperm, etc. I hardly even noticed when she inserted the first needle between my eyes, but I felt the energy from it immediately. The best way to describe it is the feeling that you get when you try to push two magnets together that are the same polarity, you know that "force" that pushes back? It's a milder version of that. Before I knew it she was smiling big and saying "You're all set! Here's the bell for you to ring if you need me, if not, Ill be back in 45 minutes." She told me to relax, breathe, visualize, and rest, which is exactly what I set about doing. This turned out to be more difficult than expected because A) I wanted to know where all the needles were, and what they looked like, and B)I kept thinking THIS IS SO DANG COOL!!! After carefully raising each arm & leg to get a look at my Frankenstein moment, I settled in for the most relaxing half hour I've had in years.
She knocked lightly and came back in, telling me to stay still and "in the zone", and how did I feel? "To be honest, that is the stillest I have been in oh....say..... 27 years!!!" She said "it's amazing what happens when I pin folks to the table"! She removed the needles effortlessly, and we talked about scheduling for our next session. As I got up from the table I felt myself breathing deeper and easier, and feeling calm and quiet. We proceeded back to the front, scheduled my follow up, and went over pricing. She had a "fertility package" already in place! Knew what she was doing! Had experience with all of this mess! I was thrilled. She gave me the biggest real hug, and sent me on my way.
I cried when I hit the car door. For the first time I felt like I had a REAL ally in this whole mess. Someone who understood all of the process and the jargon, genuinely knew what I was dealing with, and how to help me physically and emotionally. I never felt like a bother, or a mess, or crazy (well, crazier than normal), I felt like I finally had someone else to bear a portion of this massive weight. On top of all of that, I felt calm, hopeful, and peaceful.
I've been back several times since, and the awesomeness doesn't wear off. These are "moments". Last visit I asked "Do you think I'll ever be as calm as you?", her answer, very sweetly, was "No".